Damn. I usually don't curse. Actually that's a lie. But besides that, I can't find words to describe my life right now. Strange? Scary? Different? But nothing really describes my emotions. I am back. Back in Switzerland. It's been exactly 12 months and two days since I received the AFS-email: "Stephanie, we found a hostfamily for you." Back then only pictures of strangers and unknown places that I now call home.
The last few days in the US were literally crazy. Over tears, 16-pounds-too-heavy suitcases, goodbye hugs, last FroYo dates, an insane Steph and smiles over memories I somehow managed to get myself together and ended up with 500 other exchange students at LIU in NYC. There we were. Only a couple hours later a bus brought us to JFK - and after we picked up the suitcase that fell out of the bus in the middle of the highway - we made it through check-in, ticket control and security. 6:06 pm our plane rolled out on the runway. This sounds so cliche and romanticised but my life has been like that for the past few months anyways so ya it just fits right in. The moment the plane rolled off the runway and the wheels left the ground I looked out the window and the last rays of sunshine fell right into my eyes while the first tear rolled over my cheek. Left eye - happy tear (some theory I read online, right eye'd be sad tear then). Eight hours of crying (and of course I forgot to pack tissues), letters, the three-hour update of my journal, my last diet coke and the typical plain plane food. Switzerland welcomed us with 10 degrees Celsius which is approx 50 degrees Fahrenheit - yay! Welcome to Switzerland.
It feels weird to be back. I look at things differently now. I realized things about Switzerland that I've never noticed before. First of all - everything is so freaking tiny! The fridge, the glasses (one sip and you gotta refill!), the bread knife (I was like shocked the first time I used our breadknife here - I asked my mom like where is our real breadknife^^), the dish washer, the streets, the cars even the moon is smaller over here -_- .. The second thing I realized is that you have to be a billionaire to live in this country - or who else charges 4 dollar for a small soda?! Things got better as I made my first American cupcakes although I still gotta work on the frosting!
I can't really describe the feeling I have - but I kniw every exchange student knows what I am talking about. I feel empty. It's like I've been living a dream and now reality is throwing stones at me to wake me up. Damn.
Well this year certainly taught me a lot - about myself, my surroundings and life in general. Two things I always wanna keep in mind though:
1. Everything's possible
2. Trust in the future. It sometimes turns out better than you think it will.
And until then I'll just keep on eating my cupcakes and updating my blog.
Love,
Steph
